A weird normal conversation on IRC

<Iggles> do any of you know how weird terrapins are
<Iggles> very weird.
<Iggles> he looks upon me as a source of food, I think
<d0om> lol
<Iggles> and I don't mean "the person that brings food"
<d0om> yeh, terrapins are like that
<sailoreagle> lol
<Iggles> and whenever I clean the tank, I put him outside and he finds the darkest place he can and stays there
<Iggles> finding him is hell sometimes
<Fat-Burrick> I wonder why, Iggles ;)
<d0om> hehe
<Iggles> not to mention he moves surprisingly fast
<Fat-Burrick> for a terrapin?
<d0om> Iggles, get two tanks?
<Iggles> that you'd think
<Iggles> not enough room
<Iggles> although
<Fat-Burrick> Put him in the sink
<d0om> a small one to hold him for a while?
<Iggles> that's where I wash the tank out
<Fat-Burrick> your pocket?
<Iggles> he can climb!
<sailoreagle> lol
<Fat-Burrick> heh
<Iggles> I put him in a washing up basin and he got out!
<d0om> tie him uo?
* Fat-Burrick imagines a small terrapin in climbing gear climbing up the inside of Iggles' trousers
<d0om> get some little chains and tie him up :p
<Iggles> I will have to get another tank as he's growing out of it
<sailoreagle> lol!
<Iggles> lol
<d0om> LOL
<Iggles> I'm calling him a "he" but I haven't a clue, really
<Iggles> and I'm not sick enough to find out :P
<d0om> well, has he laid any eggs yet? ;)
<Iggles> heh, no
<sailoreagle> heh
<d0om> thats a good sign :p
<sailoreagle> hehe
<Fat-Burrick> Terrapin: "[terrapinvoice]Now i have escaped from the tank of death, i will now attempt to reach the horn of cape or something![/terrapinvoice]
<sailoreagle> LOL
<Iggles> but, erm, as I only have one..
<Fat-Burrick> Iggles
<Iggles> I'm not really expecting any
<Fat-Burrick> Put two magazines out
<d0om> They lay eggs first don't they?
<Fat-Burrick> FHM and a gay magazine
<d0om> then they fertilise them afterwards? like fished?
<Iggles> I thought they had to do it first
<sailoreagle> rofl
<Iggles> sorry, "do it"
<Iggles> :)
<Iggles> lol
<Fat-Burrick> if it goes to sleep on FHM its a boy
<Iggles> or two pictures
* d0om wonders where you buy "FHM for terrapins"
<Iggles> sypha and sailoreagle :)
<Fat-Burrick> if it likes "the other side" then call it sypha
<Fat-Burrick> or beatrice
<sailoreagle> lol
<Fat-Burrick> It could be a gay terrapin though, that would be hard to distinguish
<Iggles> no, I'll still call him Yertle
<Iggles> heh
<sailoreagle> but how would you know
<sailoreagle> if it goes to my picture
<Fat-Burrick> it tries to hump the male fish?
<sailoreagle> it could be a female lesbian terrapin or something
<Fat-Burrick> oh
<Iggles> fish?
<Fat-Burrick> yes
<Fat-Burrick> the male fsih you keep...
<Iggles> the fish would be dinner nefore any thoughts of romance come along :)
<d0om> hehe
<sailoreagle> hehe
<Iggles> and anyway
<Iggles> the fish are in another tank
<Iggles> as terrapins need air
<Fat-Burrick> but the terrapin can climb!
<Iggles> not sheer glass it can't :)
<d0om> hehe
<Iggles> OR CAN IT
<Fat-Burrick> with its climbing gear I'm sure it could
<d0om> it can get icepicks!
* Iggles is now paranoid
<Iggles> it could climb out at night..
<Fat-Burrick> yeah
<d0om> then, in teh middle of the night, when you least expect iot
<Iggles> fuck thefish
<Fat-Burrick> get some toothpicks from the kitchen...
<Iggles> and climb back in!
<d0om> this terrapin climbs into your bed
<Iggles> no one would suspect a thing!
<sailoreagle> LOL
<d0om> and KILL YOU!
<Fat-Burrick> AND BITES YOUR NIPPLES!
* Iggles is worried
* sailoreagle is reduced to a ball of helpless laughter
<Iggles> no, my nipples are still atta- OH DEAR LORD
<d0om> rofl!
<Fat-Burrick> "Nipple biting terrapin kills young London boy"
<Fat-Burrick> IT WILL BE IN ALL THE PAPAERS
<sailoreagle> ROFL
* d0om is goign to fall off his chair if he laughs any more!
<Iggles> Daily Mail: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!
<Iggles> or Helen Lovejoy, either or :)
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<Iggles> he pinged out with laughter
<d0om> "in other news, IRC logs found on biten boy's computer implicate a criminal known as "fat-burrick" in suplying the terrapin with climbing equiptment to allow it commit ther muder"
<Iggles> hehe
<sailoreagle> lol
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<d0om> wb
<Iggles> "`d0om` and `sailoreagle` just sat and laughed"
<d0om> hehe
<Fat-Burrick> Whilst I was recconeting I have thought up a battleplan Iggles. All you need is 4 miles of tinfoil to wrap your body in at night, then you will be safe
<Iggles> "and that kitten played with the ball of string... all through the night."
<Fat-Burrick> unless your terrapin can get heavy machinery
<Iggles> woobie FB
<Iggles> it probably can..
<Fat-Burrick> then you're screwed
<Iggles> literally?
<d0om> WOUldn't that kinda make breathing hard?
<Fat-Burrick> yes
<Iggles> damn
<d0om> all that tinfoil?
<Fat-Burrick> screwed to the depths of your life
<Iggles> quit nitpicking, d0om
<d0om> isn't it easier to buy a lid for the tank?
<d0om> ;)
<Fat-Burrick> i'm sure he could get terradildos too
<d0om> (with a lock)
<Fat-Burrick> Sorry if this is frightening you
<Fat-Burrick> but its all possible!
<Iggles> oh yeah, I have a lid
<d0om> uhm...dare I ask what a terradilod is?
<Iggles> I'll take a picture one day and show you all
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<Iggles> I have all the kit, full spectrum lighting, filter, heater
<d0om> lo Zantie
<Fat-Burrick> its a very small dildo
<Fat-Burrick> that terrapins use